The Shower

Fannie:  I can't use the shower at work anymore.

Crusty:  Why not?

Fannie:   Heifer has started walking at lunchtime, so she's been using the shower.  It's just disgusting.

Crusty:   Pubey?

Fannie:   Come here.  [takes Crusty by hand and takes her to shower stall]

Crusty:  EW!!  Holy shit! 

Fannie:  I KNOW!  I think that's toe jam up against the wall, next to all the pubes.

Crusty:  There are footprints in the mildew.

Fannie:  Those aren't my footprints, and that mildew is pink.

Crusty:  Ew. 

Fannie:  I'd rather be sweaty and stinky and yuck all afternoon than shower in THAT, where Heifer washes her sweaty bush and walks around in bare, sock jammy feet.

Crusty:  Ew. I don't blame you.

Wild, Wild West

(yesterday)...

Crusty:   Ew, our bathroom is getting too gross to use.

Fannie:  Yeah, we need to get Janitor up in here to sweep up.

...(today)...

Fannie:  Janitor finally came through for us.  I wonder how big the tumbleweed of Heifer's pubes was.

Crusty:  Ew.

Bathroom Signage

Fannie:  Ugh!  Heifer blew up the bathroom on this side of the office again.  Ima leave her a typed note that says "Double flush, please."

Crusty:  Or you could leave this:

Fannie:  Do you think I should put it up on the stall wall so that she'll see it as she's sitting down?  Like at seated eye level.

Crusty:  Well, if you use the hippo sign, you should post it on the back wall, because that's where the Splatter Zone is.

Fannie:  By then it's too late though, because she might not see it until after she's already exploded her ass all over the place.

Crusty:  Ew.  I'm going to use the public bathrooms on the 1st Floor.

Mopped Up

Fannie:  So Janitor finally mopped our bathroom, but he didn't fucking sweep first!

Crusty:  Ew, I think I know the answer to this, but ... how can you tell?

Fannie:  Judge for yourself.

Crusty:  It almost looks like it's spelling "help me."

Fannie:  Even the pubic hairs are grossed out by the bathroom floor.

Crusty:  Ew.

Fannie:  Yeah, ew.