Fannie: Jesus, Heifer must be shedding her winter pube coat, cause the bathroom is super pubey today.
Crusty: I bet she has a receding pube line. Perhaps she could look into a pube transplant.
Fannie: Ew.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Patriotic Poo
Fannie: In honor of our great nation's Independence Day, I have produced something patriotic.
Crusty: I'm not even touching that one.
Fannie: Why of course I'll tell you about my patriotic product, Crusty, and thank you for asking. I have produced a patriotic log out of my anus -- the base of the turd consists of the pint of blueberries I ate yesterday, it's reticulated with stripes of the watermelon I ate for breakfast and it's starred with partially digested corn from last night. Eat your heart out, George Washington.
Crusty: Ew.
Crusty: I'm not even touching that one.
Fannie: Why of course I'll tell you about my patriotic product, Crusty, and thank you for asking. I have produced a patriotic log out of my anus -- the base of the turd consists of the pint of blueberries I ate yesterday, it's reticulated with stripes of the watermelon I ate for breakfast and it's starred with partially digested corn from last night. Eat your heart out, George Washington.
Crusty: Ew.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Fiesta Time
(driving back to work from lunch)
Fannie: Ugh, what is that rancid smell?
Crusty: Uh, sorry. I hotboxed your car.
Fannie: *rolls down window* Really, Crusty? You couldn't wait until we got back to the office???
Crusty: You take me to a Mexican restuarant for lunch. You feed me spicy food and stuff pinto beans down my throat. What did you THINK was gonna happen?; did you think I would fart lilacs and lavender?! No, Fannie. I'm gonna fart pork and beans and salsa. You brought this on yourself.
Fannie: Ew. *retch*
Fannie: Ugh, what is that rancid smell?
Crusty: Uh, sorry. I hotboxed your car.
Fannie: *rolls down window* Really, Crusty? You couldn't wait until we got back to the office???
Crusty: You take me to a Mexican restuarant for lunch. You feed me spicy food and stuff pinto beans down my throat. What did you THINK was gonna happen?; did you think I would fart lilacs and lavender?! No, Fannie. I'm gonna fart pork and beans and salsa. You brought this on yourself.
Fannie: Ew. *retch*
Thursday, June 30, 2011
The Jerk
Crusty: I'm hungover and whiny and bloated and all I have for lunch is this vile-looking, Carribbean-style microwave meal that's been in the freezer for like 11 months.
Fannie: That's what you get for drinking on a school night.
Crusty: Yeah, but the silver lining is that now all my drunk-farts smell like jerk chicken.
Fannie. Ew.
Fannie: That's what you get for drinking on a school night.
Crusty: Yeah, but the silver lining is that now all my drunk-farts smell like jerk chicken.
Fannie. Ew.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
The Elevator
Fannie: Maggie said that there's a booger in the elevator, but I didn't see it.
Crusty: Yeah, she mentioned it to me, too. I think she's referring to the one smeared next to the buttons.
Fannie: Ew.
Crusty: Yeah, she mentioned it to me, too. I think she's referring to the one smeared next to the buttons.
Fannie: Ew.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Dry Cleaned
Fannie: I leaked jizz onto my skirt. Dammit. I just got it dry cleaned, too.
Crusty: Just pick off the crust; it's still good for another wearing.
Fannie: Ew.
Crusty: Just pick off the crust; it's still good for another wearing.
Fannie: Ew.
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