Crusty: Eeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! I'm leaving for the Hamptons tomorrow!! This is my first real vacation since we've worked here!
Fannie: I'm going to miss you! When are you getting back?
Crusty: Thursday. I'll miss you too!
Fannie: I'm experiencing separation anxiety. I'm going to go pee on something.
2 attorneys, 1 cup. ew.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Pooberry Lysol
Crusty: The bathroom smells like pooberry.
Fannie: What?
Crusty: I went in there and it smelled like berry fresh lysol, and then OMG i walked into a wall of shit smell.
Fannie: Oh, sorry. That was me.
Crusty: Thanks for the courtesy spray, but it's like when a smoker tries to hide the smoke smell with too much cologne.
Fannie: The smell really does linger in your nostrils and then it sort of seeps into your mouth.
Crusty: Pooberry aftertaste.
Fannie: What?
Crusty: I went in there and it smelled like berry fresh lysol, and then OMG i walked into a wall of shit smell.
Fannie: Oh, sorry. That was me.
Crusty: Thanks for the courtesy spray, but it's like when a smoker tries to hide the smoke smell with too much cologne.
Fannie: The smell really does linger in your nostrils and then it sort of seeps into your mouth.
Crusty: Pooberry aftertaste.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Battered Assholes
Fannie: How is it that my asshole just easily passed a log with the girth of a baseball bat, yet it rejects even a hint of anal sex? My boyfriend isn't that big.
...silence...
...silence...
Fannie: Ew.
Crusty: I win.
...silence...
...silence...
Fannie: Ew.
Crusty: I win.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Espresso
Crusty: Dude, I'm struuuuugggglin'. I can't stay awake this afternoon!
Fannie: Here, eat these. I have more chocolate covered espresso beans than I can handle.
Crusty: Nooooooooo! I'm going over to New Boy's house after work! Let's forget for a second that espresso beans look like little turd pellets...I still don't want to have espresso piss when I get to his house! Plus, they'll make my breath smell like a rat carcass dipped in week-old coffee grounds.
Fannie: Ew.
Fannie: Here, eat these. I have more chocolate covered espresso beans than I can handle.
Crusty: Nooooooooo! I'm going over to New Boy's house after work! Let's forget for a second that espresso beans look like little turd pellets...I still don't want to have espresso piss when I get to his house! Plus, they'll make my breath smell like a rat carcass dipped in week-old coffee grounds.
Fannie: Ew.
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