Bathroom Signage

Fannie:  Ugh!  Heifer blew up the bathroom on this side of the office again.  Ima leave her a typed note that says "Double flush, please."

Crusty:  Or you could leave this:

Fannie:  Do you think I should put it up on the stall wall so that she'll see it as she's sitting down?  Like at seated eye level.

Crusty:  Well, if you use the hippo sign, you should post it on the back wall, because that's where the Splatter Zone is.

Fannie:  By then it's too late though, because she might not see it until after she's already exploded her ass all over the place.

Crusty:  Ew.  I'm going to use the public bathrooms on the 1st Floor.

Scent of a Chickpea

Fannie:  Man, the conference room is smelling FUNKY.

Crusty:  Oh.  I farted in there when we were leaving the meeting.

Fannie:  What the hell did you eat for lunch?

Crusty:  Garbanzo bean soup.

Fannie:  Ew!

 

Crusty:  It's packed with protein.

Monday 14 February: Log Jam

Fannie:  Thanks for today's page from you What's Your Poo Telling You? calendar.  It's very sweet.

Crusty:  You're welcome!  Happy Valentine's Day, Fannie!

Fannie:  Happy VD to you, too, Crusty.  I love you!

Crusty:  I love EW, too!

Monday 07 February: Yellow Poo (NOW WE KNOW WHY!!!)

Fannie:  It's crazy the way Dr. Stools seems to intuit our scatalogical questions as they arise.

Crusty:  Whatever.  You're an idiot.  At least we know why Heifer's poop is all yellowy and mustardy.

Fannie:  I wonder if she takes laxative pills to lose weight.

Crusty:  I know she takes "diet" pills.

Fannie:  Laxatives.

Crusty:  Yeah, probably.  That would explain a lot of what she leaves in the toilet for us.

Fannie:  Ew.

Mustard Colored Oatmeal

Crusty:  You should go check out the bathroom.  Heifer left remnants again.

Fannie:  Ew.  I don't want to see her remnants.

Crusty:  You have to.  It's like a mustard-colored pile of oatmeal.

Fannie:  Ew ew ew!  Like bright yellow mustard or dijon?

 

Crusty:  More like spicy brown mustard with seeds.

Fannie:  But like oatmeal in texture?

Crusty:  Yes!  A pile of oatmeal.

Fannie:  Ew.

Supernova

Fannie:  Ew!  What the hell did Heifer eat for lunch?!?

Crusty:  Oh, Lord.  What now?

Fannie:  Heifer blew up the fucking bathroom!

Crusty:  What else is new?

Fannie:  THIS is new.  It's like her ass was a supernova -- a tremendous toilet explosion of gas and colorful particles.